Category Archives: Tips for Parents

Helping Your Child Get Organized

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At times, parenthood feels like an endless battle against chaos. From messy rooms to backpacks stuffed with papers, our children sometimes appear to have never heard the words “neat” or “tidy.” When that chaos is resulting in missed assignments, forgotten lunches, and lost homework, it can be difficult to help them get organized. An article from the Child Mind Institute has some suggestions to help you teach your child these essential skills.

Whether your child has ADHD,executive functioning issues, or simply has never been taught how to get organized, it’s not enough to tell them to try harder. Getting organized requires doing things differently and developing new habits. Organization practices aren’t a “do it this way” solution, but a “find out what works for you.” That means some trial and error, some setbacks, and some persistence is needed to help your child get organized.

Remember that getting organized is a process, not a formula, so be prepared to them learn from the approaches that fail, discover the things that could be improved, and continue to do the things that worked. Other suggestions from the article include:

  • Identify weak spots
  • Use tools
  • Don’t get bogged down in planning
  • What actually works is better than what is supposed to work
  • Sustainability is key
  • Stop beating yourself up and start moving on

The article also notes a few universal tips to being organized that almost always apply to whatever system your child develops:

  • Write it down
  • Put the same thing in the same place every time
  • Make easy-to-lose things bulky
  • Breaking overwhelming tasks into smaller, more manageable pieces will help you get things done
  • The simpler the better

For more information on all of these tips, check out the full article at the Child Mind Institute. Helping your child get organized is like enlisting them on your side in the battle against chaos in your household.

Photo © 2011 by Kristina Alexanderson under Creative Commons license.

Sun Safety

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With the weather finally warming here in Illinois, families are spending more time outdoors. Today’s post on sun safety comes from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention(CDC). It is also available in Spanish.

The sun’s ultraviolet (UV) rays can damage your skin in as little as 15 minutes. Follow these recommendations to help protect yourself and your family.

Shade

You can reduce your risk of skin damage and skin cancer by seeking shade under an umbrella, tree, or other shelter before you need relief from the sun. Your best bet to protect your skin is to use sunscreen or wear protective clothing when you’re outside—even when you’re in the shade.

Clothing

When possible, long-sleeved shirts and long pants and skirts can provide protection from UV rays. Clothes made from tightly woven fabric offer the best protection. A wet T-shirt offers much less UV protection than a dry one, and darker colors may offer more protection than lighter colors. Some clothing certified under international standards comes with information on its ultraviolet protection factor.

If wearing this type of clothing isn’t practical, at least try to wear a T-shirt or a beach cover-up. Keep in mind that a typical T-shirt has an SPF rating lower than 15, so use other types of protection as well.

Hat

For the most protection, wear a hat with a brim all the way around that shades your face, ears, and the back of your neck. A tightly woven fabric, such as canvas, works best to protect your skin from UV rays. Avoid straw hats with holes that let sunlight through. A darker hat may offer more UV protection.

If you wear a baseball cap, you should also protect your ears and the back of your neck by wearing clothing that covers those areas, using a broad spectrum sunscreen with at least SPF 15, or by staying in the shade.

Sunglasses

Sunglasses protect your eyes from UV rays and reduce the risk of cataracts. They also protect the tender skin around your eyes from sun exposure.

Sunglasses that block both UVA and UVB rays offer the best protection. Most sunglasses sold in the United States, regardless of cost, meet this standard. Wrap-around sunglasses work best because they block UV rays from sneaking in from the side.

Sunscreen

Put on broad spectrum sunscreen with at least SPF 15 before you go outside, even on slightly cloudy or cool days. Don’t forget to put a thick layer on all parts of exposed skin. Get help for hard-to-reach places like your back. And remember, sunscreen works best when combined with other options to prevent UV damage.

How sunscreen works. Most sunscreen products work by absorbing, reflecting, or scattering sunlight. They contain chemicals that interact with the skin to protect it from UV rays. All products do not have the same ingredients; if your skin reacts badly to one product, try another one or call a doctor.

SPF. Sunscreens are assigned a sun protection factor (SPF) number that rates their effectiveness in blocking UV rays. Higher numbers indicate more protection. You should use a broad spectrum sunscreen with at least SPF 15.

Reapplication. Sunscreen wears off. Put it on again if you stay out in the sun for more than two hours and after swimming, sweating, or toweling off.

Expiration date. Check the sunscreen’s expiration date. Sunscreen without an expiration date has a shelf life of no more than three years, but its shelf life is shorter if it has been exposed to high temperatures.

Cosmetics.Some makeup and lip balms contain some of the same chemicals used in sunscreens. If they do not have at least SPF 15, don’t use them by themselves.

Photo courtesy of the National Parks Service.

 

Are You a Rescuer or a Helper?

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If you’re a PTA parent, chances are you are pretty involved in your child’s education. But how you get involved matters in your child’s ability to handle problems on their own once they head out into the world. The two main approaches are often described as Rescuers and Helpers.

Rescuers

  • Take responsibility for solving the problem
  • Tend to give advice when presented with a problem (“You should…”)
  • Bring up past issues that were painful (“This is just like the last time when you…”)
  • Are more like to interfere on behalf of their student (“I’ll call ______ and…”)
  • Tell how they solved a similar problem (“When I was your age…”)
  • Tend to see all problems as big problems
  • Unload their frustrations or fears on the person seeking help
  • Are more likely to feel that there is only one solution to a problem

Result: The parent feels burned out and ineffective, while the student feels disempowered and unheard.

Helpers

  • Focus on shared goals
  • Leave the past behind, focus on the present
  • Remain or appear to be neutral
  • Use curious questions (“What have you tried?”)
  • Encourage their student to problem solve, using available resources (“What are your ideas?” “Who might you go to for help?”)
  • Listen for feelings and empathize (“It sounds like you…” “How can I help?”)
  • Follow up with their student
  • Let the student make their own decision even if you do not feel it is the best decision

Result: The parent feels useful and effective, while the student feels listened to and empowered.

When our kids are little, it’s easy to be a rescuer because they are much more dependent on us and don’t have many experiences to draw on. But that can easily become our default mode of “helping” as they grow up. Even when they’re little, parents can take the helper approach to teach their child how to solve problems on their own.

6 Myths About Suicide

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Suicide is once again in the headlines with the recent suicides of two Marjory Stoneman Douglas students who survived the mass shooting in Parkland, FL and the suicide of the parent of one of the children killed in the Sandy Hook Elementary shooting. Parents can play an important role in preventing suicide by directly asking their child if they are okay and if they are considering harming themselves. The National Suicide Prevention Lifelineprovides free 24/7 support for people in distress at 1-800 273-8255.

Parents often have mistaken ideas about child suicide. An NPR story a few years ago spells out these six myths:

  1. Asking someone about suicide will cause them to become suicidal.
  2. Depression causes all suicides.
  3. We cannot really prevent suicides.
  4. Suicides always happen in an impulsive moment.
  5. Young children, ages 5 through 12, cannot be suicidal.
  6. When there has been a suicide, having a school assembly seems like a good idea.

Every one of those six statements is not true. Read the full articlefor details on each one. Take advantage of the resources at the National Suicide Prevention Lifelineto learn what the risk factors and warning signs of suicide are.